Dear Weary Mom,
I know that some days seem longer than an entire week. I know that you have not had enough sleep in a very long time, and I know you clean up the same mess over and over again. I know that you feel sad, discouraged and sometimes beat.
Sometimes, more often than not, I feel the same way. Sometimes I feel like I am a single parent, I feel like my husband doesn't appreciate me. Sometimes I feel like crying, sobbing, laying on the floor and kicking and screaming. I feel like running away. Going somewhere quiet, where there are no toys, no griping kids or spouses, where there is nothing but a comfy chair and a view.
Weary Mom, I know parenting is hard work. We have so much riding on our shoulders. We feel like if we don't do everything right, we will fail miserably and our kids will suffer the consequences. We have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and society adds to the equation by judging us. However, here you will find no judgment. Weary Mom, I respect how hard you work to raise your family. I respect that you are human and that you are not perfect. Please understand, there is no reason to even put on the illusion of perfection with me. I will tell you my secret... I am far from perfect myself.
Sometimes I go to bed in the clothes I wore that day, because I am so exhausted not only physically but also mentally that I can't even manage to locate my pajamas, or put them on. I drop into bed feeling like I have played an intense game for 19 hours straight and I was clearly not the winner of the game. It is not uncommon to find my laundry in a basket just patiently waiting for me to either grow an extra set of arms or the day to go from 24 to 30 hours. It is not uncommon to find that I have a messy bedroom, applesauce in my hair or red rimmed eyes from crying, or big black circles from sheer exhaustion. I am often angry and resentful of my well rested husband who will sleep for 10-12 hours a night, then spend the day pursuing his own pleasures, after all he is on a "well deserved 3 month vacation", raising children and keeping a house, plus working at home isn't really work... I haven't had a day off in 3 years. Not a holiday, sick day or personal day. If I am sick, I must get up in the wee hours of the morning or late at night and play catch up... so it is easy for me to admit this resentment and anger, yet another of my flaws.
Weary Mom, I have hope and faith that someday, your struggles and strife will be worth it. You will see your children grow into wonderful people that make your heart burst with pride. You will be overcome with emotion in a good way when your children are out in the world accomplishing great things. The lack of sleep, the feelings of self doubt and the annoyance you probably feel at times will become insignificant, you might even forget all of that. I hold onto hope for not only you, but for me also.
Weary Mom, you can always come back to this blog, you can hear about my week and commiserate with me, or you can tell me how your week was. There will be no judgment here, Weary Mom, I am always here for you. I understand.