Dear Weary Mom,
For months I have felt like I am drowning in a sea of work, responsibility, reality and messes. I have felt like my house is never clean like it should be. My hair is always a mess, my family doesn't get the love or attention they need from me. I have felt like I don't have the time to be the best me that I can be.
I have felt guilty for longing for a break. I have felt guilty on the days I tried to just let it all go and not worry about folding laundry, washing dishes, running the vacuum.
I have felt guilty if I slack on my work as a virtual assistant, and if I don't take on the projects that I am offered.
I have felt angry of my husband who is not always the best at helping when I need it. I admit feeling jealous and resentful of him at times too. I am so ashamed of those feelings!
I bet some of you Moms out there feel the same way too.
Last week I took a leap. I have never relied on anyone to help with my son. We had a once a week, 2 hours at a time sitter when he was turning 2, but it was really just a way to help a neighbor's teenage daughter earn $10 a week for her own pleasures without straining Mom, who was out of work. She didn't really keep him busy, or help me do things around here. But I realized last week that I can't be the best me when I don't have time to try.
So I hired a sitter, she comes on Wednesdays for 2 or 3 hours in the afternoon so I can work, nap, or just be alone for a minute.
I wasn't hopeful that it would work out, but my son fell head over heels for her right away. He loved having her play with him, and I loved being able to sit down and work for 2 hours without distraction.
Does that make me a bad mom? I sure hope not, but I guess it is a chance I have to take.
Sometimes we need a break from our kids. We love them with all of our hearts, but we need time to be human and step away from the identity of being a Mom that can consume us if we don't watch it.
Dear Weary Mom, if you haven't had time for you in the past month, do yourself a favor. Find someone that can watch your kids for a few hours. Go to a movie, get your hair styled, take a nap or read a book. It is a vacation for your mind, your body and your soul.
After I stepped away from my child for 2 hours I felt... better. I felt more patient, less stressed and much happier than I have felt in many years. When I stepped back into the role of Mommy 2 hours later I was happy to see him and he was happier to see me. Absence made both hearts grow fonder!