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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Dear Weary Mom

Dear Weary Mom,

For months I have felt like I am drowning in a sea of work, responsibility, reality and messes. I have felt like my house is never clean like it should be. My hair is always a mess, my family doesn't get the love or attention they need from me. I have felt like I don't have the time to be the best me that I can be.

I have felt guilty for longing for a break. I have felt guilty on the days I tried to just let it all go and not worry about folding laundry, washing dishes, running the vacuum.

I have felt guilty if I slack on my work as a virtual assistant, and if I don't take on the projects that I am offered.

I have felt angry of my husband who is not always the best at helping when I need it. I admit feeling jealous and resentful of him at times too. I am so ashamed of those feelings!

I bet some of you Moms out there feel the same way too.

Last week I took a leap. I have never relied on anyone to help with my son. We had a once a week, 2 hours at a time sitter when he was turning 2, but it was really just a way to help a neighbor's teenage daughter earn $10 a week for her own pleasures without straining Mom, who was out of work. She didn't really keep him busy, or help me do things around here. But I realized last week that I can't be the best me when I don't have time to try.

So I hired a sitter, she comes on Wednesdays for 2 or 3 hours in the afternoon so I can work, nap, or just be alone for a minute.

I wasn't hopeful that it would work out, but my son fell head over heels for her right away. He loved having her play with him, and I loved being able to sit down and work for 2 hours without distraction.

Does that make me a bad mom? I sure hope not, but I guess it is a chance I have to take.

Sometimes we need a break from our kids. We love them with all of our hearts, but we need time to be human and step away from the identity of being a Mom that can consume us if we don't watch it.

Dear Weary Mom, if you haven't had time for you in the past month, do yourself a favor. Find someone that can watch your kids for a few hours.  Go to a movie, get your hair styled, take a nap or read a book. It is a vacation for your mind, your body and your soul.

After I stepped away from my child for 2 hours I felt... better. I felt more patient, less stressed and much happier than I have felt in many years. When I stepped back into the role of Mommy 2 hours later I was happy to see him and he was happier to see me. Absence made both hearts grow fonder!

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3 comments:

  1. that does not make you a bad mom at all. We all deserve a break, it makes us better parents.

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  2. Thanks for being so honest here--I feel this way a lot too. My son started full-time preschool in September, and it was so difficult to make that decision because I felt so guilty for taking that time to really devote myself to my work. He loves school. I love that I have more time to work. And the time we have together is better. I still have a lot of mommy guilt, but I'm getting better. Thanks again for sharing. :)

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  3. i have no idea what a break is most of the time. My main break is going to church because my oldest goes to his class and my youngest goes to his class. Took me a while to learn to relax in church without checking the pager every few minutes. definitely understand needing a break

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Thanks for leaving me a comment sweet stuff! I am always glad to hear from you!