How fast time flies when you are raising a family! It seems like only yesterday I was the mother of a 15 month old boy, trying to find my way in the journey that is motherhood. Fast forward to today. That boy is turning 5 in May. I am now the mother of a 15 month old girl.
They are growing so fast! My heart breaks a little everyday when they are a little bigger, they are a little older, they are a little more independent. I am excited to see them grow and discover the world, but oh, if they would just stay small a little longer!
It hit me hard, just like a ton of bricks might, when I realized... in less than 3 months my little boy will be 5. I had to catch my breath as I replayed that time in my mind. How badly I wished I could hit pause. I wished I could savor those moments with an infant in my arms, or chasing a toddler about. I wished I could greedily gather up all of the giggles of a 3 year old on his most rotten day, to collect in my heart. I wished I could have all of those moments again with Roo. I wished I could go back to when Harper was a newborn and just soak it all in, how tiny she was, her sweet sighs. The way she smelled when she was days old, the way she would smile when I would stroke her cheek.
If I only knew how fast it all really goes when it was all beginning!
Now that he is closer to 5 and she is 15 months old I am learning to savor moments.
Every evening after dinner I tuck my phones into a cabinet. I leave my laptop in another room. I stash the tablet away. I grab the coziest quilt and invite my kids to cuddle with me. I hand the remote over to Roo, he selects a cartoon and with my two babies I relax. I don't let the chirping phones distract me, this is my favorite time of the day, the time I spend quietly with my kids, giggling when appropriate. Smelling the sweetness of their blond hair. Memorizing the way their skin feels beneath my hands as I massage tiny backs and shoulders. Wishing that if I can't have the moments that have passed back that I can be all there for these brief pre-bedtime moments. The way my daughter clings to be, her head resting on me when she is tired, or the way my son hugs me and sighs "Uhmmm" when he wraps his arms around me. Those are moments to savor, to cherish, to be there completely for.