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Sunday, July 12, 2015

The Journey to a Better Me Begins Tomorrow

My journey with Nutri System is about to begin. I was really excited about the opportunity to change my life and my eating habits from the second I heard that I was a Nutri System Blogger... that is until the clock started ticking and I was down to just a few days to start changing my life.

On Friday, I literally sat down and cried. My husband was concerned, he asked if everything was okay. I sobbed "Noooo....I....miss... cheeseburgers!" He looked at me with a cocked brow, surely not certain on how to respond.

Later on in the day I called a friend, and I grumbled to her about how much I was going to miss eating and how much I hate chicken sausage. She was supportive, she understood what I meant. While I want to be a better me, I really love food! I like to look at it, cook it, talk about it, blog about it and of course eat it too.

I mumbled some depressed, dramatic crap about how much it was going to hurt me to watch my family eat dinner while I was a good girl and worked towards healthier habits...

Yea, I was being a bit of a food drama queen.

So that night, I packed up the family, and headed to Denny's. I decided that I was giving myself a last blast so to speak.

I ordered a milkshake right away. I never order milkshakes with a meal, but this time I did. I drank every last drop and felt all righteous about it.

Then I had a cheeseburger. French fries, a cookie.

I ate every stinking bite. I never clean my plate! I always have left overs for lunch the next day. I even had a bite of my hubby's chicken philly steak.

After we got home, I felt awful. I had to take my pants off and wallow in self pity and bloat.

On Saturday I asked my hubby to get up with the kids. I laid in bed until the crazy late time on 10:34 am. Mr. Adam asked me "Are you okay?" I got up a wallowed in pity.

Finally I admitted, "I feel sluggish. I ate a lot of crappy food last night... I am ashamed of myself."

It was then, with voicing my shame for making a diet, a great diet that is going to improve my health and quality of life, seem like a bad dream. For doubting that I can do this lifestyle change, that I realized just how badly I want and need to do this.

If you are not following me on Instagram, please do! I am going to sharing glimpses of my meals on the Nutrisystem diet and I will give honest opinions on how I felt about my meal. It will be interesting to see how my food preferences and tastes change in 3 months.


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