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Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Mom: Required for Sleeping

This post was inspired by my dear pal Maggie at Dexters Super Savvy Mommy via a fun status update.


She asked "Do your kids have a special blankie or stuffed animal that they just don't want to sleep without? If so, how old are they?"


At first I thought, no, not really. Harper likes her Teddy Bear, but she doesn't care if it is in her crib or not. Roo, takes different toys to bed if he feels like it. He may grab a book, or his "game ball" from t ball on a day he did really well. But, anyhow. No. Nothing special is required for bedtime.

Then I realized that there is a special something, a favorite something that is required for bedtime. Roo can't sleep without me. 

He is 5.

When Roo was about 7 months old, he stopped sleeping through the night, just as quickly as he started to sleep through the night. Many nights I spent holding him in my arms as we rocked the night away. I would count and lightly tap my foot to stay awake. Once he was asleep, I counted to 200 then I gently slipped him back into his crib. More nights than not, his crib would wake him, as this was when drop side cribs were in use still. As soon as I raised the side, he was awake.

So many nights I held my baby, so he could sleep in my arms. I however lived with fear of holding him too tight or dropping him. So, from the age of 7 months until he was 11 months old. I didn't sleep more than an hour at a time. He was waking up constantly.

When he was 11 months old, I was looking and feeling haggard. Bags that swallowed my face appeared under my eyes. A crazed look took over in my expressions. I gained crazy weight in those 4 months. I was teetering on the edge. If I didn't get some sleep, and soon, things were going to get u-g-l-y.

The last night I sat up with him all night, I nodded off, I couldn't stay awake. I asked my husband to take a turn, he refused as he had to work in the morning. {NO COMMENT...water under the bridge}

I put the kid in the crib. He wailed. I wailed. I picked him up, carried him to my bed, instructed my husband not to roll over on him. Roo fell asleep, I fell asleep. Problem solved.

Well, now here we are . Roo is 5. He still needs his Mama to sleep. So, at bedtime, I lie down with him until he is sleeping. When he awakens several hours later, he says "I can't feel you Mom!" or "I can't hear you Mom!" So I climb the stairs and say "I'm here Roo!" I crawl back in bed with him and he will say something like "Mommy, you will sleep here right?" or "Mommy, I NEED you!" or "Please don't go Mom."

You know... the stuff that makes me feel bad. Makes me promise I will sleep there. Each night, I kiss my husband Good Night, and I go to bed with our son.

I have heard it all. I have heard how I am damaging my marriage, how I am messing up my kid, how I need to put a stop to him needing me to fall asleep....

Well, here is a newsflash. Roo is 5 today and he wants me close to him. I want to be close to him, to smell his hair when he sleeps, to savor the feeling of his little boy breath in my ear. Someday soon he will grow up. He won't want me in his room or his bed. Understandable. But while he is little, if he needs me, it is my duty to be there for him. It is also my pleasure to savor the season of being in high demand.

My husband doesn't mind, because he understands, they are only little once.

1 comments:

  1. my son had tag blankets that he had to sleep with. He still has them sometimes he sleeps with them still. My daughter likes to sleep with a stuffed animal to cuddle with.

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