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Sunday, January 3, 2016

I Wasn't Prepared For This...

There are a few things I was unprepared for in life. On that list you will find parenthood. I thought I was prepared, I read books, practiced diapering a beloved toy from childhood, I went to classes. I subscribed to magazines.

In all of those outlets of preparation I was never warned of the odd behavior of small children. The juvenile fights that would break out between a 2 1/2-year-old and myself, or the way the appearance of my mental health would deteriorate.



My son is a cutie. A true blessing. I look at his perfect face and I melt. He is a vision of sweet and cuddly.

And then, within an instant, he is no longer Angel Boy. He becomes a little blond goblin, snickering as he goblins up the house. It is then the juvenile fighting begins. I say "No dear, we don't throw the toaster at the dog..." Wait a minute...Why does he have the toaster and how did he get it? And it all begins. The crying, clawing at my legs trying to reach the toaster. The wailing "Mama, Mama, Mama!" As he begins trying any and everything to reclaim the toaster as his own. He has nothing to play with, I realize as I look around the disaster that is his room, the living room, the kitchen, the master bedroom, the guest room. There are toys in the bathroom, toys in the laundry room, don't forget the attic, basement, yard and shed. Yes, he has nothing to play with. Just that toaster.

I had no idea parenthood would turn me into a crazy woman. It happened so fast. One day I was cool. I was good, I had it together. The next day, things came spiraling out of control. I have applesauce caked in my hair. My son is dancing on the dining room table as I sprint to grab him, the dogs are barking because they thought the thumping sound was someone at the door. To them, the kid is crazy. Him on the table dancing? Stranger things have happened. That seems normal to the poor dogs. Then when I realize there is someone at the door, I look at my son, who found a blue highlighter and got the cap off, and now is covered in bright blue streaks. Didn't I just sit him down 2 seconds ago? How did this happen? Now I am a work of art too. The dogs are still barking. 

I grab my half-smurf and vainly try to wipe the applesauce from my hair, in case you didn't know- parenthood requires a new job title. You become the human napkin. I finally get there to see the look of shock on the unexpected visitors face, the disappointment. This guy had to have known I would deny his pitch to sell me a box of grade a meat. As I head towards opening the door, my son swipes the highlighter at me, getting my nose. Now I have a blue dot right in my line of vision.My eyes are drawn to it, creating a cross eye effect to complete the picture of my total sanity.

Every day is a new adventure, I know what to expect- everything out of the ordinary. I sometimes need to grumble a little about the trials of a stay at home Mom, but do you know what? I wouldn't want it any other way. Every day I am thankful for my little boy, who brings happiness and laughter to my home, who keeps me on my toes, always learning and always trying harder. He even inspires fun blog posts like this one.
He might have moments of total goblin-ness, but I could not imagine the alternative. 


This post is an older one, I really wanted to update it to let you know most of this still happens on a daily basis. Now I have a 5 1/2-year-old son that is a picture of sweet and cuddly as well as a 2-year-old daughter that enjoys all of the shenanigans her older brother did at her age. She is also pretty as a picture! The journey continues!

Oh! And I have learned that stepping on Legos really hurts! 

36 comments:

  1. I love your blog! I love this! I love when we share ourselves with our readers. Just another day in paradise. Yes, being on our computers can sometimes bring out the goblins, or the teethers. Which in my case, is my nightmare right now. If I am not holding Hailey, she is fussing, crying, or screaming. The second I pick her up, she's quiet. I am her off switch, and I HATE it, but yet, love it at the same time. Then there's my 5 year old son, and my 3 year old daughter who hasn't gotten to play outside in a week, and they are driving me insane. I hate this cold weather.

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  2. You will soon miss those days, dear Sara! I remember when mt 4 my son was about 4, he made a recipe off the side of a cereal box. I was dieting at the time and he offered me a snack. Sadly, I told him that I couldn't try it because I was on a diet. WHAT WAS I THINKING? If I hadn't said it, though, I wouldn't have gotten the adorable response "Well, when your'e not fat will you try one?". Now, at age 13 it's WHY?, We have no food, I'm bored. If only the kid would be as amused with a highlighter as he would have at age 2-1/2!!

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  3. Oh Please! Just look at that angelic face. I don't believe one word of it. No sir not one! LOL.. Kids Gotta love em <3

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  4. That is hilarious and soo like my youngest hahahahahaha

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  5. My little angel turns 2 next year... and what an adventure I'm in for! :)

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  6. OMG I love this!!! It sounds like my house. I can completely relate. My oldest is almost 6 and it is still that crazy here!!

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  7. My kids are grown adults! I'm ready to be a grandma :)

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  8. This is so true and I love it. I'm glad I'm not the only one who 'wasn't prepared for this' :)

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  9. This is a great post and very personable to your readers to know you better.

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  10. great post. kids change your life forever and the best is when they tell you they love you out of nowhere. Such a great feeling

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  11. I always thought I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but I would have gone absolutely crazy. You're certainly handling it better than me! Keep up the good work.

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  12. I read all the books too I really thought I was ready. I didn't think anything would be able to surprise me.... The books should have mentioned days like this lol!! The first time my 5 year old slammed a door and told me I was a meanie weenie I sat there opened mouthed trying to figure out if that really just happened or if I imagined it! And time outs in my house are horrible the screaming and crying and tempering. Some times I really think I will go insane lol.

    This was a super cute post!

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  13. You made me laugh! Thank you:)

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  14. This was too cute! I agree with some of the other ladies, enjoy every stage your little one goes through because they grow up so fast! My daughter is already ten yrs old - I look at her and still cant believe how fast time has passed!!

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  15. This made me laugh!! My son is only 15 months old and I know exactly how you feel... he somehow gets a hold of the stick blender or the popcorn makes or the rice cooker and decides it's the only fun thing in the whole house to play with! Parenthood is so much fun and I wouldn't change it for the world!

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  16. My first was a breeze compared to my second. She's either super happy or REALLY upset. The temper tantrums are unbearable. But when she's happy, she's too cute.

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  17. I don't have a child yet. I'm sure when I eventually become a parent it'd be great having such memories!

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  18. Yeah, the dog is going to have to get better at avoiding flying appliances - that one is on him. Hang in there - our 14-year-old daughter cried 2 days ago because her 9-year-old sister was "shaking a sock" at her. Seriously, a sock. And it was clean.

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  19. Ohhhh..... Mine are 21, 18 and 11. I love reading honest posts from young mothers like you! Kids are a challenge. Figuring out cause of goblin-ness is a challenge. The key is to weave love and respect through it all, so that when they're my kids' ages, they can become friends. Cherish these moments. They define tomorrow.

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  20. Those Legos do hurt! Nothing really prepares us to be a mom. I read all the books, too, but I remember days like that. Now that mine are all grown, the memory of those days fade and I tend to look back and see pure perfection. :)

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  21. Yes, I was surprised too by some of the adventures of parenthood. I didn't realize how many messes I would have to clean up all-day-long. Although it's tiring, it's also very rewarding to be such an important part of the kids' childhood everyday!

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  22. I totally relate! Every day is filled with new adventures and new struggles. I'm so nervous about #2 arriving soon, because #1 was and is a total handful!

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  23. I can so relate! My sixteen month old can be a real stinker, and sometimes I feel like I am going crazy. But it is worth every moment.

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  24. Oh Sara enjoy it because the years fly by so quickly, my daughter turns 15 this Saturday and I cannot believe it. BTW, hubby loves Legos and just bought an enormous Ferris Wheel set that he built over Christmas and displays in his office at work!

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  25. I am the mother of a soon to be 4 year old (next week) and an 11 year old son. My kids are funny and busy and leave toys out but we don't have any real outlandish stories.

    They never got into Vaseline or things of that nature. My funniest moments with them are probably things they said and did.

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  26. Parenting is an adventure for sure! Having 5 children, there was never a dull moment in the house, that was until they grew up and moved away from home. Enjoy these crazy, fun-filled days cause they won't last forever.

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  27. aww i definitely emphasis with you! children are hard work, i mean ive only looked after them from a babysitting perspective. but fulltime omg! youre doing you best though, you have to keep remembering that

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  28. Seriously, stepping on Legos is like the worst thing in the whole world...and where there's one, there's more. ;) I know I felt like this many times. My oldest is 18 now, and I still feel that way sometimes.

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  29. I haven't got any children at the moment but I can imagine that being a parent brings up challenges now and again but can also be great at the same time.

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  30. I agree...Legos hurt like hell, lol!!! I had a really hard time with my son because I the type-A person in me could not deal with his 'reluctance' to follow my perfectly timed schedule, lol! I definitely eased up the second time around ;-)

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  31. Oh my Goodness! It completely relates to my house. But You're certainly handling it better than me!

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  32. ok your blog is super cool. i love it. and i love your story. thanks so much for sharing.

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  33. I'm sure many parents are hearing you right now. Thanks for sharing your life as a parent with a cutie with us at #Overthemoon linkup

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  34. My daughter is grown up (they do do that!!!!) but I still remember the crazy times. And today they bring a smile and your stories will one day too !!! Thanks for sharing.

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  35. Thanks for reposting this. I needed the laugh, and the perspective today. My toddler is the same angel/goblin.

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Thanks for leaving me a comment sweet stuff! I am always glad to hear from you!