The Heartbreak That Looms In My Future

Why do they have to grow up so fast?

My kids are growing by the second, before my eyes.

At the end of the school year my cute little boy was wearing a 5 t perfectly. Today we tried on one of his favorite shirts from last year and guess what? It wouldn't even fit over his head. I spent an hour sorting out his clothes, making a pile of things he has outgrown. I spent about another hour crying into his cute little t shirts. Sobbing on his pants that are now several inches too short to wear.

Feeling like a hot mess, rolling around and wailing into outgrown clothes. Feeling small and helpless. There is no way to stop it, he is going to keep growing until one day he outgrows his need for me. I realize; Yep, there is true heartbreak looming in my future.

Harper is almost 2 now. She is getting so tall, her hair is getting so long. A beautiful child that girl is. Her little giggles send chills up my spine. Like something I have longed to hear, like a bell ringing in my heart. And guess what? She is going to crush me someday. She will keep getting taller. She is prettier every day. Maybe she will crush a handful of other hearts on the way and we can all start a support group?

Summer is winding down in my part of Ohio. The nights are turning cooler and the leaves are showing signs of changing color, and as the seasons turn from summer to fall, I must prepare myself for the changes I will see in my kids. The changes I know are coming but I dread.

Someday, I will sit down to write and Roo will be like 9 and Harp will be like almost 6.... they will be different than they are today. They will be like new people. With new interests, different opinions, and a style of their own. Someday, I might be thrilled to discard some outgrown clothes in favor of something that reflects their increasing maturity.

Growing Up, oh why must they grow so fast? Why can't I keep their hands small, and their need for me strong?

Knowing I can't keep them as babies, I must enjoy these moments while they are small. I must let the toys take over the house during epic play sessions. I must let them need me, and I must embrace their need for me. If we are close now, and I am constantly reinforcing that bond, then maybe I can avoid the heartbreak that looms in my future. Maybe they won't need me when they are grown, but maybe they will still want me around. Maybe, if I can live in the moment with them now, they will never stop wanting to tell me about something fun they did, or about their interests, hobbies and ideas.