Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

The Psychological Approach To Better Parenting

 If you are keen to be the best parent you can possibly be, there are a lot of things that you might want to bear in mind. One of the most essential areas that you will probably want to focus on is your own psychology, for this affects everything else that you are going to do in your parenting efforts. The good news is that it is also something that you can easily work on and improve, and as long as you do that you are going to find that your parenting skills improve greatly in general.

In this post, we are going to discuss how to improve your mindsets and work on your emotions as a parent, with a view to improving your parenting too. You’ll find that all of the following is incredibly useful, so it’s certainly something you are going to want to think about.

Pic Source - CCO License

Understand Your Parenting Style

First of all, it might be helpful to look at parenting styles. Everyone has their own way of parenting, and it’s possible that you do it in quite a distinct and different way to those around you, or even to your partner. This is okay, but it is something that you will want to understand as thoroughly as possible. Understanding your parenting style means looking at how you approach issues of control and behavior with your kids, so that is something to look into first and foremost.

Once you can see your own style in process, you can then work out whether you might be doing things differently or whether it’s possible that you need to change any elements within it. That could prove to be a really important thing that you are going to want to focus on.

Positive Parenting

A concept that might be helpful in all this too is that of positive parenting. This is a broad term that simply refers to a manner in which you can approach parenting which will enable you to produce the most positive effects for your children, and it’s something that is going to prove to be really useful and fruitful if you approach it in the right manner. For one thing, it means knowing how to develop your children healthily and in a mature way, and that in particular can be really good for them and for you. Find out more about positive parenting and you should be able to find it really helps you out.

Focusing On Safety In The Right Way

A lot of parents struggle with focusing on safety in the proper manner, which means that they either look at it too hard or they don’t look at it enough. You really need to try and strike a balance here, otherwise there is a good chance that you might end up causing a lot of trouble for your children in particular. Focusing on safety is something that you are going to want to think about in order to ensure that they are kept safe in general, of course, so it is nonetheless vital that you are doing this as best as you can.

Pic Source - CCO License

On one end of the scale, you have the extreme of never thinking about their safety much. You might then accidentally feed them with formula that is known to cause harm in babies, for instance - and you can read a guide to baby formula lawsuits to help you out here - and this can cause them trouble and harm. On the other end of the scale, if you are overprotective, then you might be harming them psychologically in other ways later on in life. So as we saw, getting a balance between these two things is really important if you are going to be able to raise your children right.

Becoming A Behavior Expert

In one way or another, you need to make sure that you are becoming an expert in your child’s behavior, and this might actually be easier than you think to achieve. Actually it is just what happens when you are a parent, and it’s something that you can easily prepare for and achieve if you are keen to make sure that you are doing so, so that is something to bear in mind. The more you understand their behavior, the better you can act in helping them to be happy and healthy throughout life, so it’s important that you are thinking about this.

All in all, these pointers will help you to be a better parent in no time.

Dear Weary Mom, I Want To Potty Alone

Dear Weary Mom,

Guys, I want to use the potty alone.

How many times have I uttered those words in the past few years? Maybe the past few days would be easier to count. I say that a lot anymore.

The situation goes something like this every day:

I tell Roo 'keep an eye on your sister for a minute please?'
I start for the stairs.
Roo asks "Are you going to the girls room?"
I say something like 'Yes honey, I have to potty.'
He says "Are you going to the girls room to poop?"
I beg ' Please, just watch Harp for 35 seconds. I will be right back.'

I charge for the stairs, running up them like a fire is chasing me. I take them 2 at a time, finally, bladder near bursting I am near the door.... I hear little feet hitting the stairs faster than my mad dash. Before the door can close, there he is.

I say something like 'Roo, please go watch sissy?!'
He says "Harper is coming. She's right there!" He points around the corner, she laughs, I sigh.
'Guys, I want to use the potty alone...' Both kids are laughing, thrilled with this game of racing and meeting up in the bathroom. Roo declares 'This isn't a potty, its home plate.'
I say something like 'Yep, this is home plate! Now run on to first base!' I am dancing the pee dance at this point. As I finally can begin to pee, it feels so good. Better than sex pee, the plight of the woman who cannot ever enter her own bathroom.

Harper laughs as she tosses shampoo and the like in the bath tub. She jumps on the scale. She dances.

Before I can finish Roo and the dog burst in. Roo is laughing, the dog looks dejected, I hear my husband on the stairs... He says "Roo said that you and Harper were pooping."

Oh my God. People leave me alone...

I wash my hands and look at my husband. I mumble something about privacy, needs to use that room just once alone. What if I did have to have a bowel movement? Why is everyone talking about it?

Later in the day, all over again. I tell my son, "I want to go alone." He says "But why Mom?" Like I just stomped on his heart.... his big blue eyes essentially kick me in the stomach. I want to say a number of things, like I like using the potty alone. I don't like the dog in there and you always bring him in. I don't want you bringing the little one into the mix...

But I don't. I instead inquire why he would want to come. He says "I like being with you!"

Those words moved me. They moved my heart, they moved my feet up the stairs and they moved me to allow this little boy the chance to pester me. I was a captive audience after all.

At bath time that night, he told his Dad "Mommy will shower with me." I told Roo, "I am sorry honey! I have to put Harp to bed. Daddy will bath you."
 Big eyes fill with tears "But Mommy, I need you!"

My husband is frustrated that I cave and shower with Roo. But, he obviously needed that time with me. As he is getting ready for bed, he says "Close my door and sleep right here Mom!" Pointing to my side of his bed. I see how close to nodding off he is, so I snuggle him close to me. I tell him "Roo, you are a good boy. And a good friend." He sighs a dreamy sigh and replies "I am a good boy and a crazy friend!"

As he drifts off to sleep he holds my hand. I think about how many times I have muttered about some alone time lately. I think about how many times I have been grumpy over using the restroom alone. I promise to stop and savor this season when I am in such high demand, because someday, my son will run in horror at the thought of us both being in the bathroom together. He will be frustrated when I want to hang out in his room. Someday he will be a teenager, learning to navigate this life on his own.

This gave me insight on how to react to my children. While I think time alone is healthy for parents, I think that time spent cherishing the moments is far more healthy. I don't want to be that mom that looks back in 20 years on fond memories of using the potty alone. I would rather have the memory of a 5 year old boy with his eyes shining, so blue they are mesmerizing, who follows me to the girls room every time I go, just to talk to me.

I am not a perfect Mom. Lord, my flaws are overlapping. But, every time I pray, I pray for patience, for kindness, to be a better mother, to make sure my kids know I love them to infinity. Maybe giving up my privilege of private potty use is one of the ways I can love them to infinity, or maybe it is just one of the perks of motherhood....