Are you a parent? Is it coming up to back-to-school time and you’re about as stressed out as it is possible for a human being to be? You’re definitely not alone, but you know what? You’re also very much not alone. Whether you have a junior, a senior, or a college student in your life, getting them ready for school, whether it’s planning lunches or working out how they’re going to afford tuition, is a lot, for you…and for them.
In fact, the financial cost of buying everything your kid needs for school is probably the biggest stressor when it comes to back to school season, right? Tuition, supplies, meals, extracurriculars - it’s enough to make you want to crawl under a weighted blanket until graduation. But you know what? Whatever’s stressing you out about school, it doesn’t have to! Here’s how to have a calm back-to-school season every year until they finally graduate one and for all!
First: Take a Breath
No, seriously…breathe. School isn’t a one-shot, get-it-perfect-or-fail experience. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. And you know what? Your kid doesn’t need the “perfect” school supplies, the most expensive college, or the trendiest laptop to succeed. What they need is support, realistic expectations, and maybe a snack (because everything feels more manageable after carbs).
Break Down the Big Stuff
School stress usually comes from big, looming worries that feel impossible to manage:
How are we going to afford tuition?
What if my kid doesn’t get into the “right” college?
How will we juggle schedules, homework, and family life?
The trick is to break those anxieties into smaller, bite-sized pieces. Instead of panicking about “tuition,” look at scholarships, grants, work-study, savings, and yes, student loans as individual puzzle pieces. Instead of stressing about college admissions, focus on supporting your teen through this semester, then tackle applications step by step.
Money Doesn’t Have to Be a Monster
Let’s be real: school costs can be overwhelming, especially higher education. But here’s the secret: there’s no single “right” way to pay for it. Most families piece it together like a patchwork quilt.
Scholarships and grants: Free money is always step one. Encourage your student to apply for everything, no matter how small. Winning five $500 scholarships adds up just as fast as one big award.
Work-study and part-time jobs: A few shifts a week not only help with expenses but also teach time management (and humility when your teen learns the joy of customer service).
Savings plans: If you’ve got a 529 or other savings, now’s the time to put it to work.
Student loans: They’re not the villain everyone makes them out to be. Federal loans are the go-to, but if those don’t fully cover costs, private options like Ascent Funding Student Loans can help fill the gap. The key is borrowing smart and borrowing only what’s truly needed, and with a solid repayment plan in mind.
See? Not a monster. Just a budgeting puzzle.
Shift the “Perfect School” Mindset
Here’s an unpopular opinion: the “perfect” school doesn’t exist. And chasing it like it’s the golden ticket to your kid’s future only piles on stress. Your student can succeed at a state university, a community college, or even by starting at one school and transferring later.
What really matters is the fit: Does the school offer the program your kid wants? Do they feel comfortable there? Is it financially reasonable? Those are the stress-free questions worth asking, not whether the dining hall has three sushi options.
Create a Family Game Plan
Chaos breeds stress. A little structure goes a long way. Sit down as a family and map out expectations:
Who’s responsible for what chores during the school year?
When is homework time, and where will it happen?
How will rides, carpools, and after-school activities work?
Putting a plan in place now saves everyone from daily meltdowns later. Bonus: it also teaches kids responsibility and teamwork (a.k.a. “life skills they don’t learn in algebra”).
Teach Stress-Busting Skills (For Them and You)
It’s not just kids who stress; parents soak it up like sponges, too. Build stress-busting habits into your family routine:
Exercise, even if it’s just a walk after dinner.
Limit screen doomscrolling before bed.
Encourage hobbies that aren’t graded or scored.
Keep communication open: “How was your day?” isn’t small talk, it’s an emotional pressure valve.
And if things feel overwhelming, don’t hesitate to tap into school counselors or outside resources. There’s no gold medal for “most stressed family.”
Focus on What’s Actually in Your Control
So much about school, especially college admissions and financial aid, can feel like throwing darts in the dark. But here’s the sanity-saver: focus on what you can control.
You can’t decide which schools accept your kid. You can help them polish their essays.
You can’t change tuition rates. You can compare aid packages and pick the best fit.
You can’t predict the future. You can teach your child resilience, adaptability, and problem-solving.
Stress melts when you shift focus to action instead of panic.
Remember: Your Kid Will Be Okay
This one’s for the worriers (which is basically all parents): your kid is more capable than you think. They’ll trip, stumble, and probably hand in an assignment late at some point, but that’s part of growing up. School isn’t supposed to be flawless; it’s supposed to be a training ground for real life.
And guess what? Real life is messy, too. Teaching your child how to handle challenges is far more valuable than ensuring they never face them.
The Takeaway
Stop stressing about school, it’s not worth the ulcers. Instead, focus on realistic planning, flexible problem-solving, and keeping the big picture in mind. Yes, costs are high, and yes, the to-do list is never-ending. But with the right mix of scholarships, savings, part-time work, and smart borrowing options, your family can make it work.
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